Straight Edge - What it means to me.

::sticks mouth to the side::

What to write what to write? I don't know honestly. I was sitting in the library with Amanda doing some homework and I remembered that I hadn't update my blog in forever (4 days = forever.) I guess when there isn't alot ailing me or tough times in my life its hard to write blogs. I guess I'll tell you about something that means alot to me.

Straight Edge

Public: ::gasp:: Did he just say straight edge?

Yeah I did, want to fight about it? Nah not really, but here we go. I found out about Straight Edge about 3 or 4 years ago from this girl named Michelle S. (S. because I don't know how to spell her last name) We talked about it and at first I thought it was an interesting concept. I didn't know much about how it got started or really to much of what it was about other than the fact that you weren't allowed to smoke. I did my research online (bad mistake..."bad mistakes?" are there good mistakes?) and stumbled across a straight edge forum. There was alot of fighting and elitist attitude going on. I thought this was the dumbest thing ever and instead of finding out what being edge was about for myself (what it is all about) I decided that the whole scene was gay.

Almost a year later of talking about how I can't wait til college so I can try tons of drugs and drinking I started to take notice of my family situation and the situations of kids at my school concerning drugs. I was disgusted. My dad drinks all the time (and had done quite a bit of irresonsible things because of it.) Kids at school...the "cool kids" at school were having these drinking parties where shit that I wanted no part of was going on. I didn't even want to associate myself with those type of people. Around the same time I was getting into hardcore. One of the first edge bands I ever listened to was BANE. Their words spoke right to me. They were talking about friends, life, bad times, good times, and everything inbetween. I took a look back at an ideal that I said was "gay" not even a year ago "Straight Edge." I decided that I was going to be sXe to set myself away from the "cool guys" at school and the dangers that come with drinking.

I had some friends that were edge too. They came up around the same time I claimed edge because I was somewhat of the only person at CHHS that was edge and that knew anything about the hardcore scene in general. These friends are still my friends, but broke edge for whatever reason. I don't look down on them for doing so (although I kinda did for awhile.) It's all a personal choice. Their fall had me kind of doubting myself and with the combination of bad times...it was all a bad time.

Enter the summer of 05. Now it wasn't the "cool guys" that were drinking now...but it was my friends. My close friends, my DKrew, my second family. I'm sure they weren't the "cool guys." I was taken back a little bit by the stories of graduation night and days after. I didn't think any different of my friends for their new found activity. I only look down on the activity. Many seem to beileve that I had a problem with them, but it was never them. The introduction of alcohol created a huge split in the DKrew. I still held strong to my morals, but I felt them fading in an attempt for everyone to be cool with each other again.

Public: This is a long fucking story.
Greg: Hang in there.

Fast forward to present day. I still haven't drank, smoke, or had premiscious sex. I've only had one other time where I felt like I was going to do what I know I was going to regret later, but I still stuck with sXe. DKrew isn't as tight as in the golden years of 05 but we are respectfully to everyone's life style choices. The ideals of the hardcore scene: looking forward, family, leave regrets behind, and doing it for yourself. Have helped me alot in life. Straight Edge has helped me reach a level of content with myself. I proud to say that I don't do drink or smoke or fuck (fuck = screwing with out relations) and when I get funny looks in class when they ask me "Greg do you insert one of the mentioned activities" I can proudly say "no" because that is not me.

Greg: Wow I just got a little deep on this post. You got to know a big part of my life.
::looks at Amanda::
Okay okay...we can go now. Gomen...-_-;