Indulgences with a hint of loneliness
So for the past 3 nights I've been doing two of two things.
1. Surfing the internet for random stuff to do until 4am in the morning.
2. Downloading videogame music.
These things are fine (for right now), but in about a week it isn't going to cut it anymore. I really need to find something to keep me busy besides the latest OST (Original Sound Track) I didn't know I wanted (ex. Contra - Shattered Soldier) , but I don't know what something should be...or needs to be (I'm having a tough time deciding.)
My cynical mood has been hitting me again lately. It always flares up when an incident shows me that people truely are out for themselves. The fact that they are out for themselves isn't the part that bothers me...its the fact that they aren't honest about it and pretend to be something they aren't. "You only think about yourself." Why can you never be wrong? Why are you always having to prove a point? Why can no one tell you anything? Its fustration on a level I've never experienced (until now.)
While I'm on my soap box I guess (there is no way I could stand on a single soap box) I'll give a little more of my 2cents (I figure if you're still reading by now, you won't mind.) I hate how people worship peers and hold them in some type of spritual light. It might sound like I'm jealous (I think a part of me is...actually I know part of me is), but no one person has all the answers. I think it comes down to who is willing to give that person the attention they need on any given situation (something I'm not willing to do most of the time...I tell it, like I see it.)
I'll look back on this post (in about 7 hours) and laugh. Its whatever though. I guess it is better to express my true feelings and thoughts while they are fresh in my mind and not tucked away behind my tact. The Contra OST isn't as good as I thought it would be (I guess it would have helped if I would have played the game first.) I've gotta find something better to do with my time...this isn't going to work.
*Only day #3 and I'm severly lonely. I guess I'm not as strong as I claimed to be. Oh well...*
*Why does everyone want attention?*
1. Surfing the internet for random stuff to do until 4am in the morning.
2. Downloading videogame music.
These things are fine (for right now), but in about a week it isn't going to cut it anymore. I really need to find something to keep me busy besides the latest OST (Original Sound Track) I didn't know I wanted (ex. Contra - Shattered Soldier) , but I don't know what something should be...or needs to be (I'm having a tough time deciding.)
My cynical mood has been hitting me again lately. It always flares up when an incident shows me that people truely are out for themselves. The fact that they are out for themselves isn't the part that bothers me...its the fact that they aren't honest about it and pretend to be something they aren't. "You only think about yourself." Why can you never be wrong? Why are you always having to prove a point? Why can no one tell you anything? Its fustration on a level I've never experienced (until now.)
While I'm on my soap box I guess (there is no way I could stand on a single soap box) I'll give a little more of my 2cents (I figure if you're still reading by now, you won't mind.) I hate how people worship peers and hold them in some type of spritual light. It might sound like I'm jealous (I think a part of me is...actually I know part of me is), but no one person has all the answers. I think it comes down to who is willing to give that person the attention they need on any given situation (something I'm not willing to do most of the time...I tell it, like I see it.)
I'll look back on this post (in about 7 hours) and laugh. Its whatever though. I guess it is better to express my true feelings and thoughts while they are fresh in my mind and not tucked away behind my tact. The Contra OST isn't as good as I thought it would be (I guess it would have helped if I would have played the game first.) I've gotta find something better to do with my time...this isn't going to work.
*Only day #3 and I'm severly lonely. I guess I'm not as strong as I claimed to be. Oh well...*
*Why does everyone want attention?*
posted by xdaedal @ 12:52 AM
4 Comments:
At 9:06 AM, May 09, 2006,
Anonymous said…
I love attention. But one has to balance getting attention in a way so that a) they share it and b) they're getting it for acceptable reasons.
Announcing that one is not wearing panties is not an acceptable reason.
At 10:21 AM, May 09, 2006,
Anonymous said…
I'm sick of attention. Tell other people that for me please.
No more Waffle House?
lata
At 4:12 PM, May 09, 2006,
Anonymous said…
Amen brother....people really do end up worshiping the wrong people...that's how cults are started. Or you just get shitty life advice from someone who thinks they know it all. I miss you.
At 4:23 PM, May 09, 2006,
Mike James said…
About the OSTs I would also recommend avoiding MGS3 and Silent Hill (the original), they're both fairly dismal/creepy.
I feel the same, it's only the first Tuesday and I'm bored/lonely.
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