Cynical in nature

Mood:

cyn·i·cal ( P ) Pronunciation Key (sn-kl)adj.

1.Believing or showing the belief that people are motivated chiefly by base or selfish concerns; skeptical of the motives of others: a cynical dismissal of the politician's promise to reform the campaign finance system.

2. Selfishly or callously calculating: showed a cynical disregard for the safety of his troops in his efforts to advance his reputation.

3. Negative or pessimistic, as from world-weariness: a cynical view of the average voter's intelligence.

4. Expressing jaded or scornful skepticism or negativity: cynical laughter.

This weekend was very lonely, but very productive. Amanda was gone to her friend Morgan's house so it was just me all by my lonesome for the weekend. I took this rare opportunity to hang out with my friends (more than I already do), study for my finals, do my hair, and get up on my Street Fighter game. That's pretty much everything I've wanted to do for awhile...all taken out at once. All in all it was a good weekend.

Dear, Lucky Charm
A very big change is about to happen to us in just 6 short days. This will be a true test, probably the hardest one I've had to take (second only to that Sociology exam #2). I want to let you know that everything is going to be alright. I know we'll make it through these 3months and it'll only bring us closer (or so they say.) Use this time to grow on a personal level and I will do the same. We'll be together soon enough better than ever.
-Geejay

For the rest of the day I don't have any major plans. I think I might roll up to Subway, Study for some more finals, Edit my paper for a better grade, Play some more videogames, and try and go to Wal-mart. Everything is so uneventful and I know that people don't read blogs unless they have some drama in them. Oh well...at least I can go back and read my own if I ever get bored.

I think it is cool for everyone to have atleast one celebrity crush. I love nerdy girls (just ask Amanda...she's a nerd.) So I'll share with you my celebrity (as if you care, and if you already know then you already think it's weird.) Janeane Garofalo...yeah I said it. Peace...[x]

...later

Update tonight....

Edit: 10:41pm - Update this weekend

Maybe not, but I did steal a couple of new albums and some are on the way.

Stolen:
Taking Back Sunday - Louder Now
Set Your Goals - Reset
As I Lay Dying - Shadows are Secruity

On the way:
FC Five - Come to the End
Mental - Get an Oxygen Tank
Outbreak - You Make Us Sick

All in a year.

So recently I've been thinking about DKrew at the start of college. That first time we all ate Chik-Fil-A together and how we thought this would last forever SIKE! I knew it wouldn't last, but the difference between me and most people who have had to go through similar things is...

000. I knew people would change and turn their backs.
001. I had a hard time dealing with it at first, but that's because I was naive.
002. It doesn't matter what anyone does...people are going to do what they want.

I'm having a hard time beileving people can change. I haven't seen it...let me rephrase that...I have seen people change, but it wasn't always for the better. It really doesn't amount to shit, because no one is anything they aren't comfortable with...and if they are then you're just a tool doing stuff you don't even like for the wrong reasons.

This isn't a bitter post (although it sounds like it), maybe I've been listening to too much xBishopx, but honestly I've stopped caring about how people are and how I want them to change. They won't.

On a happier note I guess...Like I saying in my past post me and Amanda reconnected. We had some minor problems, but it's good to have problems sometimes because you can allow yourself to be honest and work through it. Working through our problems have brought us closer together. So much so that when people ask me..."What are you going to do for the summer time...you and Amanda." I don't have an answer because it's pretty basic. We're going to be together duh?

Comeback Kid - "All In a Year."
Where have you gone?
How Does time pass by so fast
Seems like yesterday
You and I
We Could Relate
But you know how things change (things change)
But is it me?
Or is it time?
Now I’m stuck looking back
On somehting that I’ll never have again
All this time with regret
I Just Lost Today
Worrying about yesterday
Can’t live in yesterday
All this time with regret
I lost today
Worrying about yesterday
I lost today
And No
I’ll never forget about you
I lost today
I just came to terms that I’ve lost you
On with my life


Now with all that being said I'm going to finsh my work for the day. I'm going to score some fruit from Pickle Barrel and drink some Green Tea while watching LOST hopefully with ma love. Sounds good.
I'm getting my septum piercied this summer. Alot of people are going to hate it. Good for them. [x]

You Are 52% Happy

You're definitely a happy person, even though you have your down moments. You tend to get the most out of life, though there's always some more happiness to be squeezed.

How Happy Are You?

Do read this...

Edit: (3:33pm) Never mind. Everything cool. I was just extremely bored. Talked to Hiliary for a hour. She's the shitaki mushroom. Me and Amanda reconnected...I love that girl. The end. x

P.S. I cried for the first time in years. It was weird, but cool. A little emotion never killed anyone na?

Don't read this...

Fuck ass bitch titties motherfucking dyke ass trick. DAMN!! I'm bored!
It's not even 12am...I'm so bored. Nothing to do but make annoying post.
What
the
fuck
ever.
I feel like cussing. Why?
I don't know, but I do (but I don't cuss much in real life.)
Saw Silent Hill last night. Awesome movie.
Degrassi is boring now...I've seen ever episode. Fuck this show (but I love it)
Well that was fun. Only 6 more hours to be awake. I wish I was sleep or someone was up so we could talk.
Le sigh...

Edit: (3:33pm)
Never mind. Everything cool. I was just extremely bored. Talked to Hiliary for a hour. She's the shitaki mushroom. Me and Amanda reconnected...I love that girl. The end. x

I retreated into wallflower mode...

It's been awhile huh? Yeah I've been pretty busy with school work tending to the sick (and being sick myself) to make a post, but I've mananged to fit some time inbetween Sociology and doing laundry to fill you in on my life (if you're interested of course.)

This Friday I'm going home with Amanda again. I'm going to miss the SSBM tournment, but I guess it isn't much of a decision because this is the last weekend that me Amanda are going to be able to spend with each other. Typing that sentence made me realize how much I'm going to miss that girl. It's kind of crazy thinking about it. We've been dating for close to three months, but I've become more attatched to her faster than any of my past relationships combined. It's going to be a long hard 3 months of summer. "I hate the smell of summer."

Chris says that I've been a wallflower lately. *shrugs* He wouldn't be too far off. I don't know why I don't have much to say anymore. I think I'm at that point where I don't have anything to say on any given subject because its all been said. I guess a more concrete example would be last night when Chris was trying to convience me and Amanda that this lady cared more about cat abortions than human abortions. He said that she showed through her actions of only writing about cat abortions that she vauled cat abortions over the more important human abortions. I thought about it for a long time and I simply just said..."She didn't say that, she was just talking about a situation she heard about. Just because you don't talk about one thing over another that might be more important doesn't mean you don't care about the more important subject." He wasn't having any of it and I retreated into wallflower mode. I guess I'm tried of giving input...cause I find that it doesn't matter.

Well I should be going to do some laundry. School is going mediocore again of course. I got a D- on my comp paper recently. Hopefully she will let me re-do it becuase I can't have that kind of grade. Not this late in the game. Other than that, I'm vibing to some Lupe Fiasco (good lookin' Steven) and waiting for the next thing to happen...(whatever...)

*Sonic POU toejam*

Not in the best of moods. x

On the way to D-ville with my main girl Amanda and my homies Chris and Will.

Things to do:
x Go to Arbor Place
x Hang at Dad's
xGo to the Chariot Show
x Hang out with other the D-ville chapter of the DKrew.
_ Watch some LOST
_ Play some SoC and MaL:PiT
x Enjoy myself with minimal drama

5/7 ain't that bad.

I enjoyed myself, but I just got my paper ripped in half...so I'm not in the best of moods. Whatever though...nothing I can do about it now, besides move forward. Let's go!

This should be interesting....

On the way to D-ville with my main girl Amanda and my homies Chris and Will.

Things to do:
_ Go to Arbor Place
_ Hang at Dad's
_ Go to the Chariot Show
_ Hang out with other the D-ville chapter of the DKrew.
_ Watch some LOST
_Play some SoC and MaL:PiT
_Enjoy myself with minimal drama

Let's hope it goes according to plan. Stay posi. x

...b/c I'm bored post.

So I just got out of Sociology and I'm in the library just listening to music (Too Pure to Die and All In.) and crusing various Myspaces. Nothing really of any importance.

I finshed majority of my homework for this week so I have nothing to do at night besides what I want to do...which isn't something I normally get to do. The possiblities are limitless.

Lately Xanga been gathring beef again. I think this will go without saying, but when I say these next lines it'll be obvious.

People don't give themselves enough credit nowadays. Everyone think things are impossible, but I say go out and do something impossible. Those things set in front of you aren't as bad as they may seem and they might even have easy solutions if you either A: Step back from the situation and see it from the outside looking in...or B: Take other people's advice and actually use it. There was a time in my life where I felt like shit about everything and I felt like I couldn't do anything and I was talking about how incapable I was of any progress, but something kicked in (I think it was that loud music I listen to with a mix of confidence) and I stopped letting events act upon me and I acted on events. Give yourself more credit (...I think all this was in vain though.)

In other news no one probably cares about. I'm currently playing Shadow of the Colossus and it is really fun. I love trying to figure out different ways to beat each colossus. At the same time I am also playing Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories. I said I wouldn't play number 2 until I beat the GBA one...and I'm sticking to my guns!

I've also decided that when I get a job that will allow me to have piercings and such I am going to get snake bites. I like the way they look and its just another thing my parents can get bent out of shape about. Going to get my ears done first and then my lip and then finally start saving up for my first tat (A chocobo on my left calf) I'm very excitied about all these new body mods...yes sir!

Three Things
Three things that scare me:
1:	Wasp
2:	Suffocating
3:	Serial Killers
Three people who make me laugh:
1:	DKrew
2:	GSU gamer crew
3:	Good Clean Fun
Three Things I love:
1:	Ms. Bakar
2:	Music
3:	Candy
Three Things I hate:
1:	Scene kids that are too cool for anything.
2:	Close minded people.
3:	Trevors
Three things I don't understand:
1:	Drugs and Alcohol
2:	Math
3:	Women
Three things on my desk:
1:	PS2
2:	Manga
3:	Candy
Three things I'm doing right now:
1:	Listening to Hoods
2:	Doing this survey
3:	Looking up band merch.
Three things I want to do before I die:
1:	Go to Japan
2:	Get married
3:	See a hardcore show in another country.
Three things I can do:
1:	Jump high
2:	Exist
3:	Nothing any else can't do.
Three ways to describe my personality:
1:	Different
2:	Slighty boring
3:	Eclectic
Three things I can't do:
1:	Be cool
2:	Graffiti
3:	Miss a day of being on computer.
Take this survey Find more surveys You've been totally Bzoink*d

The weekend as a whole. x

So nothing really to note this weekend. Everyone and their mother was gone so that left only Amanda, Terri, and I. It was cool for the most part, but I wish more people would have stayed.

I finally beat Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure this weekend. It's a great game. I could overlook the mediocore camera angles and the less than mediocore controls and I had fun with this one. This game makes me wish I had more time to bomb (get up). I get up very little, but as soon as I buy some more stickers, chyna markers, and some german fat caps...it's over. Since Amanda won't be with me this summer I'll have nothing else to do, but bomb and work. Sounds good to me.

Schools been going better as of late. I've passed all my test last week, I turned in all my assignments, and I've been to all my classes. I wish I could have this sort of turn around eariler in the semester.

I'm listening to this person named Jeffree Star. It's a cross dressing musical artist. Some of the lyrics are:

I love dick like Anna-Nicole loves Trimspa.
Applying my lipstick while wearing Jon Benet's training bra.
Pink like my pussy, hot like Ted Bundy.

and:

I wanna boy with juicy lips.
Who doesn't care I don't have tits.
I wanna boy like me but hotter.
To eat me out like Jeffrey Dahlmer.

Why is this number #2 on top artist on Myspace? (Right below Tila Tequila whos only fine point is her body.) The "Jeffrey Dahlmer" part is my exit stage right. The beat on the first song wasn't that bad, but the subject material..."yeah...-_-"

It's only a few more weeks of school. It sucks to tell you the truth. I like college. I like the freedom, I like the indepdentness, and I love the fact that I don't have my parents nagging at me. Some of the down sides are: My parents seem to have lost interest in me (something that was bound to happen), I don't get to see my D-ville homies that much, and I don't have a job (Dependant on my parents for money). It's truely a win-win situation sometimes and lose-lose the other half.

I'm mouth hungry so I might just go hit up Subway or some more Amanda's Easy Mac. Keep it Posi. x

Positively Positive

(Disclaimer: This post is not sad/emo/whatever. So if you're looking for drama go to Xanga or something. You won't find any of that S here. I had a good day.)

"Woke up to live my life, just like every day, Jumping out of bed cause there are good things on the way, A positive feeling in my heart, I knew I couldn't fail. And the records I had ordered finally came in the mail."

My first thoughts when I woke up was..."dayum the son is trying to be my best friend." Although my tone was harsh this was a good thing. I love beautiful days. No reason to frown, no reason to be all emo. Today was going to be a positive day.

"So angry kids, go away, No negativity today, Every little thing seemed to go my way, I gotta say it was a positive day,"

My first class was cancelled so I got to sleep in extra late! Saw Amanda off to her class and went back to my room for some shower action and food action. Easy Mac was the cusine of choice (one of my favorite snacks.) I watched a little Faces of Death and actually did my math homework. What's going on?

"Telephone's ringing, I've got it made, Got a call from a girl that I've had a crush on since the first grade, Everything's going perfectly, that's what it's all about, And not a single straight edge kid has sold out,"

Felt good walking to class, smelt good, and I also think I looked okay for once. Got into class and no one was there. I thought class was going to be cancelled, but turns out it wasn't. Doesn't matter though because I did my homework I knew everything that was going on in class. I paid attention the whole time like I was on aderole* (but I wasn't because drugs are whack.) Class got called early and I was on my way to my last class of the day. I think I'm smiling.

"Got to the show, it started on time, And no one on the guest list cut in front of me in line, Five dollar door, I had money to spare, The bands were ALL GOOD and my friends were ALL THERE,"

So here I am in my last class of the day soaking up some music and chewing my favorite gum before I finsh my rough draft of my paper. I talked to Sally and she wants everyone to hang out tonight. Hey! I'm down...I feel really good today. I love those days where everything goes your way. I finshed all my work and I don't even have homework tonight (well at least I don't think) Doesn't matter because I know I'll get it done!

"Everyone dancing and no one got hurt, And even the tough guy kept wearing his shirt, And since a positive outlook is leading the way, I'm sure tomorrow will be as positive AS TODAY"

Song in italics is: Good Clean Fun - Today Was A Positive Day

lets not even dwell on today

Our hero wakes up from a so so night of sleep.
He reaches for his glasses and stares at the ceiling thinking of the mundane chores he must perform today.
A thought races through his mind faster than that punch he was landed at the Comeback Kid show.

Greg: "WOW!!!!"
Amanda: "What?"
Greg: "I forgot to do those 4 assessments for Health class"

Greg turns around towards the wall in defeat. There isn't anything on this earth that he hates more than bad mornings (although that girl in his Japanese class comes close.)

Amanda: "Aww I'm sorry baby. It's ok"

He hears her words of comfort, but they can't reach him now. He's had a bad morning and that's what the rest of the day will be.

Yeah so I had a bad morning. It sucks and I am trying to get over it, but like I said...I truely hate bad starts to the day. Let's not dwell on it though. Infact lets not even dwell on today, let me tell you about my weekend.

I went to Amanda's place this weekend in Savannah. I was a little nervous at first because I don't do good with parents. Not that they don't like me or anything, but I just don't have alot to say. I had already met them before so that made things a little easier and before I knew it I felt right at home. We kicked it the whole weekend and I got to meet Amanda's older sister and little neices. I scored Beatmania for the PS2 so that kept me busy for a little while. Had tons of root beer and more food than I could handle. Very good weekend! The kind of weekend that makes you not want to go back to school....ever!

So that was that and this is now and I am about to go check off another item on my index card. Apparently I need to start doing index cards everyday because I can't remember shit. Chris S. says that I am too hard on myself, but if I'm not hard on myself than who will be? I just really have a hard time letting things go. ::sulks::

"Into each life some rain must fall" -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

*Amanda let me have this Quotation Dictionary this weekend. I love this thing. I'm just this much closer to becoming Wise Old Man Johnson.

Edit: (3:12pm) Short version:

Ashley: Oh my gawd. Oh my gawd. I can't beileve she put our full name and pictures of our projects on the internet.

Greg pretends to not listen as he searches for Beatmania pictures.

Ashley: This is soo creepy. I might have a stalker or something. I can't beileve I can find my project on the internet with my name. She didn't get my permission

Greg has had his limit and proceeds to drown Ashley in logic.

Greg: Look, how can you be scared of a website that just has your name on it when you have a myspace and a facebook? Although she didn't have permission to put your name on there...being scared of stalkers just because there is a site with your name on it is absurd when you have things like Myspace.

Ashley: That doesn't make sense. Unless you know my name or where I live you can't find me on Myspace and Facebook is for college and selective.
Greg: How hard is it to find a name?
Ashley: I don't even have any of that information on my site.
Blake: Look Ashley, I found you. [searches on Myspace: Ashley Ferguson]
Ashley: That's because you know my name.
Greg: ...and a stalker couldn't find out your name?
Ashley: Shut up! You guys are really starting to piss me off.
Greg + Blake: [restricted laughs]

Well at least I got a right laugh out of that. Going to go score some food from the store, eat, play beatmania, and then do the rest of my homework. Project due tomorrow in Japanese class.

My life for the next few weeks: Beatmania